Wednesday, February 23, 2005
I'm liking this. Enter the name of three bands/artists you like, get suggestions of other artists you should check out.
Flickr
"Listen: We are here on Earth to fart around, Don't let anyone tell you any different" -K. Vonnegut
Sunday, February 20, 2005
Try complaining like this lady:
"To whom it may concern:
I am writing to thank you for bouncing my cheque with which I endeavoured to pay my plumber last month. By my calculations, three nanoseconds must have elapsed between his depositing the cheque and the arrival in my account of the funds needed to honour it. I refer, of course, to the automatic monthly transfer of funds from my modest savings account, an arrangement, which, I admit, has been in place for only thirty-one years.
You are to be commended for seizing that brief window of opportunity, and also for debiting my account £40 by way of penalty for the inconvenience caused to the bank.
My thankfulness springs from the manner in which this incident has caused me to rethink my errant financial ways. I noticed that whereas I personally attend to your telephone calls and letters, when I try to contact you, I am confronted by the impersonal, overcharging, pre-recorded, faceless entity, which your bank has recently become.
From now on, I, like you, choose only to deal with a flesh-and-blood person. My mortgage and loan repayments will therefore and hereafter no longer be automatic, but will arrive at your bank, by cheque, addressed personally and confidentially to an employee at your bank whom you must nominate. Be aware that it is an offence under the Postal Act for any other person to open such an envelope.
Please find attached an Application Contact Status form, which I
Require your chosen employee to complete. I am sorry it runs to eight pages, but in order that I know as much about him or her as your bank knows about me, there is no alternative. Please note that all copies of his or her medical history, must be countersigned by a Notary Public; and the mandatory details of his/her financial situation (income, debts, assets and liabilities) must be accompanied by documented proof. In due course, I will issue your employee with a PIN number, which, he/she must quote in dealings with me. I regret that it cannot be shorter than 28 digits but, again, I have modelled it on the number of button presses required of me to access my account balance on your phone bank service. As they say, imitation is the sincerest form of flattery.
Please allow me to level the playing field even further. When you call me, you will now have a menu of options on my new voice mail system to choose from.
Please press the buttons as follows:
1. To make an appointment to see me.
2. To query a missing payment.
3. To transfer the call to my living room in case I am there.
4. To transfer the call to my bedroom in case I am sleeping.
5. To transfer the call to my toilet in case I am attending to nature.
6. To transfer the call to my mobile phone if I am not at home.
7. To leave a message on my computer, a password to access my computer is required. Password will be communicated at a later date to the Authorized Contact.
8. To return to the main menu and to listen to options 1 through 7.
9. To make a general complaint or inquiry.
The contact will then be put on hold, pending the attention of my automated answering service. While this may, on occasion, involve a lengthy wait, uplifting music will play for the duration of the call.
Regrettably, but again following your example, I must also levy an establishment fee of £40 to cover the setting up of this new arrangement. Please credit my account after each occasion.
May I wish you a happy, if ever so slightly less prosperous, New Year.
Your Humble Customer,
name not supplied"
There's a ton of rumours circulating about "imminent" upgrades to the iPod range. Be ahead of the release and get a free, iPod mini Colour here
Friday, February 18, 2005
I have picked up my second ever serious sporting injury - torn ligaments in anke. Or to put it another, less impressive sounding way, a sprained ankle. I lost very badly to "G-Man" at squash last night. About half way through my ankle snapped over to the left. It hurt like hell for a few seconds but I played on. Once home I had a little rest watching TV. Then I stood up. It went wrong. Lots of pain and not a lot more standing up. Not a single comfortable position could be found for my foot. Even the slightest touch was excrutiatingly painful.
So, at around 23:00 when it became clear I (and therefore Jane) wouldn't get any sleep, we drove on up to Northen General Hospital. Lovely.
Long story short - 3 hours there, bandaged up, given crutches, told not to walk at all for 48 hours, gently after that, no squash for 3 months. Bummer.
Still, I did get to spend today on the sofa and reformatting PC.
Oh, and I have a new found appreciation for the following:
getting in and out of shower
stairs in general
carrying drinks
the warmth provided by socks
Thursday, February 17, 2005
Geez, I hope my house is stil there when I get home tonight
Edit: direct link to the order page here
Wednesday, February 16, 2005
Manufacturer: Tudor
Product: Chocolate Flavoured Crisps
Bag size: 28g
Fat: Unknown
Calories: Unknown
Manufacturer's Description: "Limited Special Edition"
Isn't it strange what people will throw away? Yesterday I saw these in someone’s rubbish as I walked past and couldn’t resist taking them home:
Ever heard of Tudor Crisps? Nope, you probably won't have done. Perhaps the reason is that they made chocolate flavoured crisps. Who in their right mind would buy chocolate flavoured crisps? Obviously the owner of this particular bag realized his/her error and discarded this full packet. “Who would discard a full packet of crisps?” I hear you cry. Well here’s where it gets interesting. I haven’t yet opened the packet, the reason: well let’s just say I’m a tad concerned that although “foil wrapped for freshness” these crisps may be past their prime. Check out the “best before” date:
I can’t decide whether to risk it or not. So we have a poll:
Summary: TBA
Score: TBA
Jane says: “Phillip, you are NOT eating those. Remember what happened when you ate that green beef burger?”
Tuesday, February 15, 2005
I'll wait for the USB 2.0 version
Clothing that bites back
Monday, February 07, 2005
Browsing through the Sheffield Forum I came across a link to the 100 albums you may own but should bin. Harsh but fair? Well, I'm with them on number 45 for starters.
Wednesday, February 02, 2005
Today I came across possibly the most useless warning so far this year:
Apparently, it's a bad idea to get liquid mercury on an iPod mini as it dissolves the anti-corrosion coating and goes on to cause the outside of the iPod to rust.
Glad the guy warned me. What with all the mercury that rains down each day and the bottles full of the stuff that each night I look at and think "wonder if my iPod will be OK if I rub some of this on it?". Nice to know someone's looking out for me though.
Full stupid details here
Yep, Have been a bit busy recently, hence lack of updates.
Biggest news was the visit of my sister and her husband from
Australia. A bit of a hectic time keeping up with them, but I'm just
about recovered now.
Here's a little picture of them bowling at Spectrum.