Tuesday, March 06, 2007
Today I received some shit in the post. Real shit. Actually, real LION shit. Get that.
The reason: neighbourhood cats and the approaching Spring.
There are many cats in my neighbourhood. Too many. Don't get me wrong - I like cats. I am not a hater. What I cannot stand is that there are far too many of them in our area. And as we don't yet have a cat, they all (without exception) shit in my garden. This is unpleasant. Combined with the amount of dog shit from next door's dog coming in through their broken fence (that's another matter), it is making me angry. I want to be able to enjoy my garden when the sunnier days come.
Thus far, I have been deterring the shitting critters by launching a variety of organic root vegetables at their heads. This works briefly. And is quite satisfying. But I don't want to end up with a vet's bill, and I can't be there all day chucking parnsips at pussies.
I have therefore invested in a carton of Silent Roar. There has surely never been a finer product name. It is pellets of some kind soaked in real essence of lion dung. I'm not sure I should have got them delivered to work as they may constitute some kind of chemical threat.
I will be scattering them in my garden tonight (using the gloves provided, which disappointingly aren't paw-shaped). I should also replace the battery in my "not sure if it works" IR-ultrasonic cat scarer.
I WILL stop my garden becoming a toilet, oh yes.
If Silent Roar proves to be a Silent Pathetic Mew, I will be investing in one or all of the following technologies:
Another IR-ultrasonic cat scarer
IR-detector with hosepipe functionality
Orange peel
That plant whose name I can never remember that they don't like
A better water pistol
Guerilla style trap doors
Gorilla style trap doors
This year's Crufts runner-up (have you been watching the coverage? Most Excellent)
A kitten/cat-flap bargain bundle
Some kind of motion-activated Mother of Thunder firework
Book titled "how to make a cat-skin hat" (or similar)
I'll keep you posted.
That is a very funny blog post, I commend you on your skill with the English language. Also, good luck with the cats, I wouldn't want them shitting all over my garden (what there is of it) either!
I think i may have done a little wee. brilliant
all dayer on the cards soon! more info to follow.
So how did you get on with the cat repellant, I am having the same problem!
It seems to be doing the trick. Cats still roam the garden, but seem reluctant to go on the grass, and it's certainly less poo-y. Heavy rain recently, so need to re-apply some Silent Roar.
Payday on Friday, so may order cat-squirter to link to our shiny new outside tap!
"Silent Roar" is very good - we used to sell loads when I worked in a Garden Centre. Pepper is good too, sprinkle liberally across the garden. Our cat has taken to killing huge pidgeons and dragging them in through the cat flap. The pidgeons are twice the size of her and so far this week she's brought me three. I'm thinking of baking a pidgeon pie!
Best way by far to deter cats from shitting in your garden is to have your own cat (or better more than one).
I bought some silent roar from a site called silent roar online, anyway seems to be working all though I noticed it took a few days to work. Great stuff
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