Fantasy Freezer
Thursday, March 29, 2007
Last night I was tired. Jane fancied a practice bike ride. I fancied a sit down.
After the bike ride I needed a chilli. I did not fancy making a chilli and there was none in the freezer. Jane, however, managed to a portion of chilli in the freezer - I do not know how. She is great.
Tonight I've had a few beers. And then a couple more. I have tomorrow as a holiday. Imagine my glee as I've just found another portion of chilli in the freezer. My freezer is from this point forward to be considered miraculous. There is no way there was a chilli in there last night that went unnoticed. I will now mostly be checking the Vatican website to find out if my freezer qualifies as any kind of religious monument thing.
Author: HotPhil » Comments:
More Biking!
Tuesday, March 27, 2007
I smell of lavender.
It's the only bubble bath we currently have and I needed a soak. I've just been for a bike ride you see. Apparently, I've done 13.89 miles in 1 hour 34 minutes. That's an 8.81 mph average. Which I'm impressed with, considering that I was fully laden and the fact that Chris and I left work and went uphill. I knew we were high as we passed an observatory. I didn't know there was one in Sheffield, it looks out of place, and a bit eerie. I'm told we went to Lodge Moor. I don't know where that is, but it is very high.
Just as I was thinking I could do with a pint we came across a pub called the Three Merry Lads (I think). That sorted it.
The ride back down to town was more of an exercise in hanging on. Scary stuff. But still good because it was still light. I'm liking this British Summer Time lark.
The picture below is from our ride round Derwent on Sunday. I only took a few, the rest are here. We had ice creams.
Author: HotPhil » Comments:
Biking Update
Saturday, March 17, 2007
As Chris mentions here, we're off cycling soon. A little too soon. My own biking to the office most days is going well (just need to ride it home instead of going to the pub). Most of the teething issues of my shiny bike have been ironed out - all the bolts that fell out the luggage rack now replaced and tightened, gears properly calibrated, brakes tightened and handles adjusted etc.
Today I bought:
- Replacement toe clips that don't have the straps on the side so look safer
- A spare chain link in case of snappage
- Two spare inner tubes
- Vertical bars to go on the end of my handlebars
- Two cycling tops
- Two cycling shorts (not the slick black kind, but ones that look normal but contain a padded lining that can also be removed)
- A water bottle holder (blue)
- A water bottle (blue)
- And most importantly, a new bell. Not just any bell, but one that has a compass in the top. Geographical genius!
These items all move me one step closer to the trip. But we still had nowhere to stay. I decided to sort out my part of the booking task and locate a hotel in Boston. I had a look at quite a few, but they all tended to be the wrong side of Boston and/or rivers (quite important when you may have to backtrack 8 miles just to get across the river you've thought would be nice to stay next to). Eventually plumped for the first, uninspired choice - a Comfort Inn. It's easily bookable, does breakfast and is in precisely the right location for us.
Jane decided to book her night. She had a harder task. She needed to find 3 of us a place to stay for one night in Wells Next to Sea. Here is a selection of the responses she received from B&B's and the Tourist Boards:
"We don't touch bookings for less than two nights"
"Most people book a year in advance for Easter"
"You'll have a job finding anywhere, luv"
"Nope, I can't find anything - have you tried any of the places that don't list with the Tourist Board?"
Jane was upset. She was then put in contact with a backpackers hostel in roughly the right location. It's incredibly cheap and "cyclist friendly". When asked if we could stay for one night, the lady said we could only book for three. Jane said we'd pay for three and only stay for one (at this price, we really would have done!). The nice lady then said she could find us space in the staff quarters for the one night. This suits both parties just fine, and could be a giggle.
Chris has also successfully booked our location in Kings Lynn. I'm yet to find out from him if it was a struggle.
Then I thought I'd have a look at the return leg of the journey - Cromer to Lincoln. I had a dig on the train websites to work out best route/times/price. If you don't know where Cromer is in relation to Lincoln, have a look here. Basically, if it you want to get from Cromer to Lincoln, it sucks to be you. Here's the problem:
- Bikes - only two bikes allowed per train. Not-prebookable.
- Route - Norwich to Ely is a bus service that day. Going into London means traversing London on bikes. Cromer-Ipswich then Ipswich-Lincoln was looked at but it takes many hours, involves many changes and comes in at £50 per person. And remember, we'd not be able to travel together as there can only be two bikes per train!
The solution:
- Rent a 1.8 Mondeo estate one-way from Norwich Airport to the centre of Lincoln. Cost: £96.
Even if it turns out we can't get our three bikes, ourselves and luggage into it, it's still going to be cheaper to drive it to the nearest Halfords and buy another bike rack than it would be to take the train.
Cue massive rant about public transport...
Author: HotPhil » Comments:
Shit Update
Wednesday, March 07, 2007
I'm working at home today. A plumber had to come round and quote for connecting up our new oven (ensuring compliance with all kinds of regulations). Apparently, I have to pay the government £5 to tell them I've had a cooker installed. What a con. It's not the best day for any good feeling from me towards Tony & Co. Today's top idiocy seems to be the announcement that the government's new plan to deal with illegal immigrants is to text the immigrants and remind them to go home. I'm sorry, but that's not a plan with a couple of holes in it - it's a set of holes only very loosely held together with a half-arsed whiff of an idea. I'd love a job in a government thinktank, it can't be very hard. Reckon I could churn out a month's worth of crud ideas by Monday lunchtime and spend the rest of the week in the pub. I'll bet £10 that texting these folk won't work - if I can find someone to take that bet on. I can't wait to see how much it costs to set up. Hope the Audit Office crucify it.
The friendly plumber who came round will be quoting to connect our new cooker, put in our new sink and to install an outside tap in order to connect up a yet-to-be-purchased motion-sensitive cat soaker. It's going to be a while until that is done. In the meantime, I have just used my lunch hour to de-shit the garden. Possibly the most unpleasant thing I've done for a long time. I'm actually struggling to think of anything I'd rather do less in a lunch hour. I then installed a new battery in my existing cat scarer. It seems to work, as when I turned it on and waved my hand in front of it a dog further down the street started barking. Then came the lion shit. It was very sealed. On opening it the reason became apparent. Never mind repelling cats, it repels humans.
Our garden is now libeally coated in Silent Roar. It's only been 10 minutes, but no sign of felines yet...
Author: HotPhil » Comments:
Hear Me Roar!
Tuesday, March 06, 2007
Today I received some shit in the post. Real shit. Actually, real LION shit. Get that.
The reason: neighbourhood cats and the approaching Spring.
There are many cats in my neighbourhood. Too many. Don't get me wrong - I like cats. I am not a hater. What I cannot stand is that there are far too many of them in our area. And as we don't yet have a cat, they all (without exception) shit in my garden. This is unpleasant. Combined with the amount of dog shit from next door's dog coming in through their broken fence (that's another matter), it is making me angry. I want to be able to enjoy my garden when the sunnier days come.
Thus far, I have been deterring the shitting critters by launching a variety of organic root vegetables at their heads. This works briefly. And is quite satisfying. But I don't want to end up with a vet's bill, and I can't be there all day chucking parnsips at pussies.
I have therefore invested in a carton of Silent Roar. There has surely never been a finer product name. It is pellets of some kind soaked in real essence of lion dung. I'm not sure I should have got them delivered to work as they may constitute some kind of chemical threat.
I will be scattering them in my garden tonight (using the gloves provided, which disappointingly aren't paw-shaped). I should also replace the battery in my "not sure if it works" IR-ultrasonic cat scarer.
I WILL stop my garden becoming a toilet, oh yes.
If Silent Roar proves to be a Silent Pathetic Mew, I will be investing in one or all of the following technologies:
Another IR-ultrasonic cat scarer
IR-detector with hosepipe functionality
Orange peel
That plant whose name I can never remember that they don't like
A better water pistol
Guerilla style trap doors
Gorilla style trap doors
This year's Crufts runner-up (have you been watching the coverage? Most Excellent)
A kitten/cat-flap bargain bundle
Some kind of motion-activated Mother of Thunder firework
Book titled "how to make a cat-skin hat" (or similar)
I'll keep you posted.
Author: HotPhil » Comments:
Weekends
Monday, March 05, 2007
Been a couple of busy weekends. Jim and Charlotte came to visit which was cool. This weekend Jo came up and we had a work do at WasabiSabi. I was knackered which is why I look a little tired and emotional in the photos.
Also this weekend we finally got round to a ordering a new cooker, which means I will soon be able to cook chips at home again! Bonus.
Author: HotPhil » Comments:
